Which book has had the biggest impact in your life?’ I’ve been asked this question several times. My response has usually been ‘The Top five regrets of the dying’ By Bronnie Ware, an Australian Author, basing it on her experience during her years as a palliative carer. In short, there were the regrets:

1. “I wish I’d had the courage to live a life true to myself, not the life others expected of me.” 
2.  “I wish I hadn’t worked so hard.” 
3.  “I wish I’d had the courage to express my feelings.” 
4. “I wish I had stayed in touch with my friends.” 
5.  “I wish I had let myself be happier.” 

I remember reading this book in my home in Johannesburg, South Africa, back in what might have been 2014 and it lit a burning fire in me to actually live my life on my terms. Now I had always believed I would make something of myself. This is partly because of being a self driven individual, but primarily because both my parents raised me to think I had no other choice but to make a success of myself especially through getting a solid education. What reading this book did was create an urgency in me not to waste time conforming but live a life that was true for me. 

I’m delighted for myself that for the most part, I feel I am consciously living a life true to me and I find time for loved ones, at least enough that the introvert in me can allow. The third one hit me the hardest though: ‘ I wish I had the courage to express my feelings’. As a first born daughter of five children and introvert who occasionally dabbles in extroversion, I had never really felt comfortable disappointing people and expressing my real feelings. I mainly know responsibility, duty and looking for approval, that precious ‘gold star’. Now this has served me well in some ways: I have a thriving corporate career, I’m a go-getter and I truly feel I am living life on my terms but I know it has stunted me as well: it is difficult for me to accept that I can be loved just because I exist. I’ve made some progress in this area, it is something that I am conscious about. 

Although this book really put a perspective for me on how I live, perhaps had the question been ‘what is the most influential’ I had ever read, my response would have been: the atlas. As far back as 10 years old, I was obsessed with the world atlas. I had gotten it from my parents as part of the books required for primary school where I went in rural KwaZulu- Natal, where I grew up. I would lie on the floor, sometimes for hours on end, looking through the pages, pointing and fantasising about the world: ‘Strait of Gibraltar’, Ganges River, Rocky Mountains, Serengeti Game Reserve, The Alphs and everything and everywhere I could get to. I know I wanted to see EVERYTHING!

A seminal moment came for me in 2015 when I finally took the plunge and booked my first trip to Europe to see the world. Pursuing something you love even when scared is the most empowering feeling I have yet experienced. I travelled as part of a tour group and it was a beautiful experience: Brugge in Belgium, London in the UK, Pisa and Florence in Italy, The Rhine valley in Germany, Paris in France and the best one was reaching the ‘top of Europe’, Jungfrau in Switzerland. From an 11 year old me growing up in a rural area and not being exposed to much to that moment where my feet were in the place I had only pointed at on a map was a moment I will cherish forever. It made the belief in ‘possibilities’ a reality. 

Something else happened on that trip. Curiously, during those ‘atlas obsessed’ pre teen years, a seed to live in a place that was very different to where I was was planted. I wanted it to be a first world country and it to be non English speaking, to make things as difficult as possible for myself. Due to my love of science and its reputation for Engineering, Germany was just the obvious choice. So on that 2015 trip when I was on a boat in the Rhine river, admiring the wine valley and the splendid views around St Goa, listening to the legend of Lorelei, something in me just knew I would call Germany home. Four years later, this became a reality and it works for this chapter in my life.

Perhaps as someone who ruminates a lot, I love to observe my environment and share ideas. Writing has been a much neglected dream that started early in my life but a pursuit of a career and travelling the world took over. Starting this blog is my way of indulging all parts of myself: being a writer. Although I don’t mind a stage from time to time, I am far better at articulating myself on paper. If I am not observing something, there is always a story in my head so writing has always been a part of me.

In this blog I will talk about my experiences in balancing a pursuit of being a published author while maintaining a 9 to 5, building a successful global career, being an expat and general life observations as I experience it.

If there could be something here for you, I am Sindi, a beginner writer with a corporate career and a love of experiencing different cultures. I hope you come along for the journey and we can learn from each other and grow together. 

About the name, I wrote this piece first and took a shower hoping that my shower thoughts will come through for me. Nope. Next best thing, I asked chatGPT. I did not like the first two responses but after a few tweaks to my prompt,’ ‘What can I call a blog for people with the following characteristics: hungry for experiences, appreciate stability, ambitious and looking to live well rounded lives”.

Chat GPT nailed the response: ‘The octopus could be a fitting symbol. It’s adaptable and can thrive in various environments, representing the hunger for experiences. It’s also stable and deliberate in its movements, embodying the appreciation for stability. Additionally, octopuses are known for their intelligence and problem-solving abilities, reflecting ambition and a desire for a well rounded-life’. That is why we are here. Apparently they also release ink as a defence mechanism, which also works because…. yes, yes, another time, I’m digressing. I tend to do that sometimes, but you get it.

Thanks,

Sindi 

The Octopus Ink

Links

Referenced Book: ‘The top five regrets of the dying’ by Bronnie Ware: https://amzn.to/3TmbaRM

My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/sindiswadlamini_?igsh=M3U4ZTlyZjc5Zmhx